Your active assistance is needed
for the survival of this exceedingly rare bird. When this bird arrives
at your lawn, it is crucial that you transport it to the next lawn within
a day or two.
Its successful migration and, thus its survival depends
on you.
Short-Hop Flamingo (Polyvinylchloride Pinkus) (also known as the "Wireleg", "Mower Mangler", or "Sue's Bird".)
The Short Hop is an extremely rare species of Lawn Flamingo. Its tiny
range is restricted to the Thirteen Hundred Block of Bishop Road in Grosse
Pointe Park, Michigan. a quiet, backward community in North America. Being
migratory, it spends its summers in the patchy, weed-choked lawn and seared
bushes of 1311. There it feeds mainly on decomposing carcasses of daily
newspapers flung there by the Albanian Jeepster.
But when the sky darkens and the day shortens, it begins the series
of citizen-assisted relocations to adjacent lawns that gives it its
official name. It stays at each lawn only a few days at the longest, until
the occupants of the residence associated with that lawn finally notice
the instructions wired to its graceful neck, pull it up and insert it into
the next lawn to the north. This jerky migration continues until it is
blocked by the natural barrier of Charlevoix Avenue. There, at the
extreme northern edge of its range. it its most dangerous feat of this
amazing itinerary, the hazardous traverse east from 1387, across
Bishop Road to 1386. If successful, the colorful avian reverses its flight
and heads due south one lawn at a time, until it arrives at its winter
range at 1312. There it joins the entire breeding population as it adapts
to its hibernal diet; feeding on rubber bands scattered by postal workers.
This striking fauna is a beautiful enhancement to the
Bishop Road biota: your cooperation can assure its continued existence.
